how to gain confidence: an experiment on oneself

I have never been very confident and over the last year it has been at a low. So, for 2017 I’ve decided to change that and take you guys with me. Let’s see how this is going.

Dancing: I love dancing in the club or anywhere, but I noticed that with other people around I could only enjoy it while drinking alcohol. I know it sounds stupid, but I just didn’t have the courage to dance without it. But this recently changed: I can now dance when I’m sober and I don’t care about what people think. I kind of zone out while dancing. One step to a confident self done!

About my body: I’ve always felt like that one chubby friend no one finds pretty. Even though I know that I’m not fat or anything, I don’t feel good about my body. To be honest, my sister is one skinny girl and it doesn’t matter how much she eats, she will not gain weight. Compared to her, I’ve always been bigger, had bigger boobs and more of a bum. This feeling got stuck in my head and has been there ever since. I’m really trying to feel confident about my body and I hope there will be some positive changes too.

Skills: One reason for my lack of confidence is probably that I don’t really have a talent. I like horse riding and I’m good with animals, but I’m often ashamed of how “bad” I am at those things. I have trouble with getting along with the horse I care for, because I get scared very easily. I have not ever been like this, it started a few years ago. If there is a difficult situation, I will get very anxious about what the horse is going to do and horses are very sensible, so they know if a human feels safe or not, and if not they’ll get anxious too. You guys probably don’t care about horses, but thats just an example. Even with the things I’m good at (like animals, especially horses) it dosn’t work. It is really hard to fix that, but I’m trying.

Advice for myself and for anybody who struggles the way I do: 

  • Don’t compare yourself with others. 
  • Eat good foods (but also eat what you’re feeling like eating) and get fit to feel confident with your body. 
  • Wear whatever you want, because wearing a cute outfit makes you feel beautiful and that is exactly what you need to feel. 
  • Don’t let your mood or your emotions depend on anyone! I had to learn that the hard way.
  • Concentrate on the good things in life. Try to write down every evening one good thing that happened or one good thought you had that day, so at night you will go to bed with this good thing in mind.

I’ll try to remember the advice I’ve given myself and keep you guys updated.

M.x

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